Frequent AF Questions

LAZY AF ROBE - ?'s

First things first, why Lazy AF?
Because... We're sick of reading about productivity hacks.  We're fed up with mindless hard work being worshipped.  Work this.  Busy that.  Careers.  #motivationmondays.  Inspirational quotes.  Yada.  Everyone is a supposed self-help guru and they are driving us all mad.  They prey upon our insecurities.  Who knew EVERY "successful" person works 20+ hours a day?  They all wake-up at 4 AM as well?  They only eat Kale?  We said enough and called bullshit.  None of us STRIVE to be busy.  We strive to be free.  We strive to have a life where we can relax and enjoy things at our own pace.  The only reason hard work is admirable is because the end-goal is lazy.  We should all stop kidding ourselves and realize lazy, leisure, and relaxation is a necessary human condition that is more natural than busy, busy, busy.  Humans, Americans in particular, constructed the idea that being constantly busy leads to fulfillment.  FALSE.  We have learned slowly and painfully this is the least bit true.  Act accordingly.  Consider the Lazy AF Robe your uniform for an un-busy life.  Yes you work.  Yes you create.  You understand progress only comes when there is a balance and rhythm to living.  We vibe with that. 

Got it.  Good rant.  How does this thing fit?
Like a glove.  Like a super comfortable and stretchy hug made of French Terry.  We tailored the shit out of this thing.  We aggressively slimmed the sleeves as we were tired of looking like a Wizard without any powers in robes of yore.  The shoulders have more structure than a traditional robe.  The button and loop system can be utilized for flexibility of wear.  It's a robe that changes what we expect from a robe.  Designed to be layered and worn out and about as well as at home during those anti-social moments.  If you like a snug fit, order the size you generally would.  If you are looking for a looser fit, order one size up.  Keep in mind, its meant to fit and function differently than your traditional bathrobe. 

How do I care for this thing?
With all your heart, thats how.  It's machine washable.  You'd be wise to wash it cold and hang dry (which we would recommend for every nice garment).  If you want to throw it in the dryer, low heat or tumble dry are recommended.  The satin was chosen because of its washability and structure, so no extra care needed.  

SHIPPING - ?'s

When will my order ship?
Whenever the hell we feel like it... Jokes.  Orders ship Monday-Friday.  No weekends because we have a life just like you do.  Holidays will be observed because we are sensitive like that.  Shipments generally take 24 hours to process and get out the door.  You will receive a hilariously-written email confirmation letting you know we got off our lazy-asses and you have an item heading your way.  Domestic shipping is free FYI.

Do you ship internationally?
We sure do you foreigners.  Bare with us, it could take upwards of 3 weeks to receive your shit due to customs and all the joys that come with that.  If you have any questions please email our International Diplomacy Division.  They exist to "Make Lazy Great Again" across the globe.

Where is my order shipping from?
Don't be nosey.  But since you asked, Colorado.  With that being said, Western US orders will arrive more hastily than Eastern US orders.  Geography's a bitch. 

RETURNS & EXCHANGES - ?'s

I can return and/or exchange this stuff, correct?
Stop being so difficult.  But since you asked, absolutely.  Goods can be returned within 30 days of purchase for a full refund, no questions asked.  Check that, we may ask you a couple questions as to why you returned it but that won't stop us from refunding your money.  To start a return, send our Customer Service Team a delightfully charming email and they will respond sarcastically with instructions.  For exchanges, follow the same protocol as above.  You have a 30-day window to exchange your item with minimal questions asked. 

CREDIT CARDS & PAYMENT - ?'s

I'm trying to give you money but it doesn't seem to be working, whats up?
We want your money, trust us.  Double-check to make sure you know how to spell your own name.  Triple-check your billing address.  Quadruple-check your credit card number and all the necessary info along with that.  These shits have to be entered exactly as your bank or financial institution knows you.  If this doesn't work, don't you dare give up.  Contact your bank or financial institution to quintuple-check your information and make sure there are no holds placed on your account.  If this doesn't work, send us a box of cash.  Just kidding.

WHOLESALE INFO - ?'s

Yo, do you mess with wholesale?
As of this moment, we only do small-batch runs, so no... But, we could entertain the idea if the fit is right (pun alert!).  Email us to say hello and lets see what happens.

MARKETING & PRESS REQUEST - ?'s

I want to make you famous, how do I do that?
Aw, so much thanks.  Email us to say hello and start a conversation of some sort.